The Video Game Guide to Ethnic Cleansing


Look, I’ve played enough Crusader Kings II to know that what’s proposed in this article isn’t that far off the mark. If anything, it doesn’t go radical enough. I’ve learned in my many hours of hands-on experience as the ruler of great European and Islamic states in the Middle Ages that you can in fact change the ethnicity of swathes of the globe in the span of a few decades. Anyone who says otherwise is just a cuck who’s scared of doing what needs to be done. What was proposed is entirely feasible and also desirable since there are no restraints against me doing it, either practically or morally. Everyone who disputes this will die eventually anyway and since the winners write history I don’t have to worry about it.

So without further ado, I am proud to present The Video Game Guide to Ethnic Cleansing:

Step 1: Getting Started, or Buying Your First Estate

You need to be strategic about this. If you go for a big, strong country you are going to have to deal with a lot of rivals and internal enemies, and you aren’t ready to handle that yet. Start with a small or medium-sized state, such as one of the independent rulers in Ireland. Besides, it’s more of a challenge to conquer, convert, and colonize if you’re a smaller country. And there’s no challenge quite like genociding literally everyone outside of your ethnic group. Painting the world red is a lot more impressive if you beat the odds.

Step 2: Everything is Your Rightful Clay, Even the Deed to Your Neighbor’s Entire Country

Listen, if you don’t believe the counties of Argyll, Galloway, and Dublin are integral parts of the Duchy of Ulster, no one else will either. Neighboring countries might think they have some sort of right to exist—owing to their continuity over time and peaceful relations with you—but that’s really just bullshit and I want to conquer the world. So send your chancellor over to Scotland or Wales or whatever and have him come up with some legalese that says you’ve always been the Duke of Cornwall and give that guy what’s coming to him. While you’re at it, try to make sure you kids are descended from important people in other countries, so that you can invade them later on the grounds that we wuz kangz at some point in our family tree. This is a completely foolproof plan. You never need more justification to conquer something other than you simply thinking you should be able to. That’s what happened in the ancient, medieval, and modern eras and literally nothing has changed since then in the system of international relations or public opinion and mōrēs.

Step 3: Press 1 for Irish, 2 for Andalusian, or 3 for German

Depending on how you got all that new land, you may or may not have an ethnically homogeneous chain of command, let alone an ethnically homogeneous country. You need to fix that and you’ve got to do it quickly. Make sure the heirs of your vassals are educated to be proper members of your race and not as barbarian Frenchmen or Anglo-Saxons. That way, their lands—ahem, your lands—pass into the hands of your people, and their subjects—I mean your subjects—follow their leader and assimilate into your tribe. No one will ever suspect that French was spoken in Bourbon, Champagne, or Burgundy after a half-century of Hibernian supremacy.

Now, you may find that the indigenes or their rulers prove to be intractable in becoming proper members of your race. That’s fine too. Just bait them into revolting so you can crush their armies and execute their traitorous “leaders,” thereby entitling you to seize the titles to their land and parcel them out to loyal members of your in-group. They had no right to revolt anyway since you were their king and people who disagree with you aren’t really people. Removing them from power in turn gets you back on track to converting the provincial populations into your ethnic group, now that their newly-minted leaders are of your tribe.

Step 4: Total [Insert Ethnic Group Here] Victory

After a few decades of having your people rule over the foreign country you just violently conquered and wrested from its local rulers, the common folk will either adopt your ethnicity or be purged via war or scripted events in the game’s engine. So really if you think about it, the only thing stopping you from getting rid of everyone in the known world but your in-group is you not pushing for that to happen. And getting that to happen and everyone to go along with it is totally fine and you won’t face massive internal and external opposition to world genocide on any grounds whatsoever. And remember, if you don’t believe in purging the entire planet you don’t really understand evolution, the JQ, or what interwar German political scientists really thought. And look, just because you sound like the literal caricature of what your opponents claim nationalism is about doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be the literal caricature of what your opponents claim nationalism is about.

Results like these can be yours; you just need to follow the guidelines above and you’ll be well on your way to eliminating entire nations from the roll of history. A word of warning though: your results may vary. But remember, if you really fuck things up and have the entire world at war with you and revolts in half your empire, you can always reload from an earlier save.

All your Ostland are belong to us:


Spain? Never heard of it. You must mean West Italy:


Really changes the meaning of the phrase Armenian genocide:


So what are you waiting for? Marry your sister off to the brother of the ruler of Canada and then have her son depose his son. Then replace all of Canada with Australians. Actually, maybe we should do that.

Author’s note: All the Alt-Right really wants is ethnics in video game journalism.

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11 Responses to The Video Game Guide to Ethnic Cleansing

  1. Pseudo-chrysostom says:

    I’m glad to see this meme start to germinate and bloom into a flower, beautiful in its starkness, wending through the discourse round these parts. Makes me feel all fuzzy inside.

    In a way I suppose its the ultimate expression of a strategy that I’ve often employed in embryo in the past; insinuate rival groups into explicitly recognizing what it is they really are; *rival groups*.

    In public spaces, amongst circles of normies, one cannot simply say things like ‘googles are stupid’ or ‘skypes are useless meat robots specialized for hacking social signals’ or ‘Celts are the master race’ (well actually, you could swing the latter with at least 7 proxies of meta-ironic post-scincerity). But what you *can* do observe the inevitability of rivalry; that there is no such thing as ultimate neutrality, as ‘value free’, in ideology or elsewhere; that advocacy for a value is necessarily advocacy for the elimination of antonymous elements; that all values inevitably create implicit hierarchy and inequality; that culture war is prelude and demand for cultural homogeneity; that lack of homogeneity necessarily entails war; that all struggles are power struggles and only stop when one power is supreme; the inevitability of coercion, the inevitability of force, of aggression, in pursual attendant thereto…

    In short, the incitement of conflict.

    Most normal people are not academics; it takes highly advanced sophistries designed by highly advanced men to make men able to rationalize away sense; they will not *immediately* equivocate such statements with ‘Natsiwhowantstogassizgorrilionjews* and then engage crimstop mechanisms. Thus, it plants a seed in their psyche, that blooms into a flower, spreading its pollen all around the other flowers, producing strange new descendants.

    For most, that is a port in the firewall of proggism through which they can move further right; with such ideas already rooted, lurking in the back of the mind, the ground is fertilized for when they do ever encounter more explicitly right wing sentiments (or antagonistic leftist sentiments, for that matter).

    For the minority of those unregenerate creatures who have gone by many names through history, it hastens their descent into psychosis. One essential aspect of the function of this creature is in how it can convince itself that it is not doing something it is doing. Incepting such conscious and explicit truths of realpolitik into such sleepers and doublethinkers incites them to stridency, to casting off of pretenses and moderation. Such naked antagonism then is a very effective vehicle for pushing ‘moderates’ off the fence/slipperyslide sliding left and realize there is a game going on that they aren’t playing.

    It works in so many ways on so many subjects. Why bother arguing with literal marxists for instance when you can just say capital itself is becoming self-sufficient and self-aware and hence can soon dispense with the concerns of feeble ape creatures anyways. Its the perfect sort of rhetorical bomb you can gleefully drop regardless of your particular feelings and views on the subject and just detonate the whole frame of the usual discussion from the outset. Such elegance and energy efficiency is the essence of trolling, and few things troll better than truth.

    Hail victory.


  2. Ehud ben Garrison (aka Blight to the Moabite) says:

    If you don’t want to exterminate everyone who doesn’t belong to your race, you’re a cuck.

    If you don’t want to exterminate everyone who doesn’t belong to your tribe, you’re a cuck.

    If you don’t want to exterminate everyone who doesn’t belong to your clan, you’re a cuck.

    If you don’t want to exterminate everyone who doesn’t belong to your family, you’re a cuck.

    Death to everyone.


  3. Pseudo-chrysostom says:

    The spergmatic jacobin mind cannot comprehend the ordinals of conflict; this is one source of his chronic disloyalty syndrome.

    The ways you conflict with one subset are not the same as the ways you conflict with others. Ritualized conflict, sacred warfare, is one of the basic preconditions for the function of large but cohesive groups. At the limit, it is the engine for the function and regeneration of civilization itself. See for instance Capitalism; a modern reification of this perennial necessity.

    It is the realization of more virtuous games, tests, and trials, at varying levels of transcendence, of varying rules, measuring varying things, with which privileges are awarded, by which matters are decided, and through which aletheia is unconcealed.

    Immediate resort to ‘total war’, to the ‘nuclear option’ metaphorically speaking, with no intermediation in between along the range of possibility, is the sign of a degenerate, mattoid mind; just as a categorical *refusal* to ever consider such a thing in any circumstance is also a sign of the very same.

    As in many things the golden mean is the case, and what that means is that in the end rules can’t do all your thinking for you; and if you *do* need more rules to do more thinking for you, you are natural rulee, not natural ruler. And like all rule-ees, should for the benefit of commonsense not be permitted to publicly promulgate innovative policy or ‘advocacy’; such would alternately be pretension to the throne or pretension to ecclesial charism as a self appointed priest (which ideally would be united in one office in any case). Or in other words, undeputized expressions of and demands for power.

    The Ordinals of conflict apply in a more prosaic sense as well; you can start to worry about exterminating rival tribes only if there are no rival races left; you can worry about exterminating rival clans only if there are no rival tribes; you can worry about exterminating rival families only if there are no rival clans.

    You create vacuums, and fill them with yourself. When vacuums are refilled, you redraw the lines, and the cycle continues anew. Just as god intended.

    Competition is the midwife of truth; one of the greatest boons one sovereign can grant to another, is that of unsubversive rivalry. The drive to overcome is the surest method of elevating a power to greater heights of exaltation.

    That is the nature of this particular plane we find ourselves in; jihad, holy war, a sacred contest. The Catholic conception of purgatory is most liken unto it.

    A purgatory not *merely* for the individual conflicts of individual agents though; for rather they are the substrate through which greater entities are embodied, the field upon which greater contests are met.

    In the Aryan tradition, the State is an incarnation, a body by which the divine is constituted and which *is* the divine; its classes, institutions and offices its organs and structure. A man having not an atomized soul, but a racial soul, from which he sprang, and to which he returns. It is something people need to more seriously contend with.

    In his 1984, anglo-saxon George Orwell could sense this dynamic at the edge of intuition, even though blinkered and filtered through the lens of modernity;

    ” Alone – free – the human being is always defeated. It must be so, because every human being is doomed to die, which is the greatest of all failures. But if he can make complete, utter submission, if he can escape from his identity, if he can merge himself in the Party so that he is the Party, then he is all-powerful and immortal. ”

    (The creation of art is an aristocratic capacity, the demands of poeticism so often transcending the formulaic dictates of venal ideologies men flatter themselves with or signal adherence to. 20th century writers have ever dealt with the cognitive dissonance between the quality of their work and their allegiance to proggism by placing truth into the mouths of villains.)

    For as much as an individual agent may find exaltation through the crucible, much greater still is the process amongst Powers; the more transcendent teleologies towards which lesser teleologies move and by which are captured; the lesser gods who hold agents in thrall and shape the motions of existence. They are at once both creations of the creator, and expressions of his eminence in his creation. By acting to glorify god, god himself becomes more glorious.

    That is the true contest, the true subjects. We will raise our god up into the heavens, ascending higher towards God, ascending higher *with* God.


  4. Quintus says:

    Once again our brother truly reveals the OBVIOUS, but to which the White man is blinded.
    What he has described is REAL history, and the KEY to our race’s survival. Truly.
    This is very thought provoking and should be disseminated widely amongst our brethren.
    Beautifully illustrated I might add.

    If the Rhodesians and the Boers had followed LM’s outline, even limited to their geographical location, they would STILL be owners of a peaceful prosperous land. To think it was all PREVENTABLE!


  5. Miha M says:

    Genocide of lesser variants of same species is nature tested and proven evolutionary strategy.


  6. King George III says:

    I formally endorse this plan as outlined by Leader Murray, the plan to make Mexico, Central America, South America, South East Asia, India, Africa, and the Middle East great the way that 18th century England once made America, Canada, Australia, and New Zealand great.

    We may also draw upon the eminent wisdom and divine prophecy of the high prophet Charles Darwin:

    “At some future period, not very distant as measured by centuries, the civilised races of man will almost certainly exterminate and replace throughout the world the savage races. At the same time the anthropomorphous apes, as Professor Schaaffhausen has remarked, will no doubt be exterminated. The break will then be rendered wider, for it will intervene between man in a more civilised state as we may hope, than the Caucasian and some ape as low as a baboon, instead of as at present between the negro or Australian and the gorilla.”

    Hail Darwin for showing us the way.

    Kek Vult.


  7. Keiser says:

    “Start with a small or medium-sized state, such as one of the independent rulers in Ireland.”

    Don’t give away the master plan Lawrence!


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